red mum

I thought I’d post some of the funnier pics from Turkey to (maybe) give you a laugh. There’s lots of ‘genuine fake’ signs as I got a little bored of those but here’s some of the other images which caught my eye.

This first one made me laugh out loud, a friend said I should have bought it. I don’t agree why on earth would I? Look closely at the name on the watch!

Jaysus Brown Thomas is closing down!

Crap

One of the Irish/English community living in Turkey bought a grave plot and was given this back

The local security guard, ever vigilant!

Forget about bringing home the lemon cologne you see everywhere, it is Elephant cologne you should be stocking up on.

I could have done with one of these in my flat, an excellent space saver!

You can see the blatant lie in the banner, no hassle indeed!

This window display was more than disturbing, more than disturbing. The little boy was on a turning pedestal…

‘Verry’ hot chilli.

A row of skirts from Penny’s

IN MY last Turkish post I wrote about going to buy lamb chops, I should have updated it before now as my cunning plan to remember the word for lamb chops, pirzolasi, turned into a complete comedy sketch. In the post I explained:

“The Young Wan and I are on a mission to buy lamb chops which I am phoenitically remembering as the former editor of the Daily Mirror and the former athlete who ran in her bare feet, Piers Morgan and Zola Budd; Piers Zola.”

Off we went to the supermarket where I confidentially and wrongly asked for ‘Piers Budd’ and the butcher pointed to ribs.

‘No, PIERS BUD’ and again he pointed to the ribs. I start to think ‘how can I explain this’ so I start to go ‘baaaaa’ and still he looked at me blankly. Then I noticed a little plastic sheep on the counter so I pointed at that and said once again ‘baaaa’. At this stage the Young Wan is laughing loudly, the butcher is laughing and the young fella who was brushing the floor was standing beside us also laughing.

And the butcher pointed again at the ribs.

Lifting the little sheep, I once again went ‘BAAAAA’ and then said the Turkish word for baby, bebek. ‘BBAAAAAA bebek, BAAAAA bebek’. The butcher pointed at the sheep, shaking his head saying ‘moooo’.

At this stage we are all laughing before coming away with steak. Note to self, next time bring the phrase book or at least write down what I am supposed to be asking for.

WELL I am back from my holidays! And yesterday I started back to work and what a day to start back. By lunchtime everything has gone bananas, the media were camped outside head office and the phones were hopping. I was also getting messages from people saying ‘what a day to go back to work’. And it was. In keeping with my ‘no work on the blog’ rule I’ll leave it there but you can imagine the day.

I have one or two things more I want to post on Turkey which I’ll get done over the next day or two and will probably focus on photographs more than anything else. More later.

Thanks for all the comments while I was away, I’ll have to go back and recheck them. I also have a phenomenal amount of blogs to catch up on. So until later bye for now.

WELL I am definitely on my holidays because I am sitting in the internet cafe uploading to Flickr and having my now ritual Efes beer only I haven’t eaten today yet, the heat and food don’t really go together.

We have had a lost day, having had a late night last night after a lazy day which was great craic.

The day started off with a fire in an apartment at the top of the hill, all drama and excitement. No one was hurt but it did look like a big fire. I spent ten minutes looking for my long lens which Nanny had put away before capturing some of the action. It was nearly all over as soon as it had started.

Later I went to have my eyebrows threaded. I am not one for tweezers or wax and tend to do little to tend to them. I wouldn’t exactly be described as high maintenance. But once in Turkey I love to have them threaded. Threading is such a mad way of grooming but I imagine a lot better than waxing which seems to be the norm ın Ireland. I imagine all that pulling will eventually help make the skin around your eyes all saggy!

Threading involves taking a length of thread and twisting it with a cross between their fingers and between their teeth. They grab the hairs and pull the thread and OUT it comes. And sometimes it is YEEEOOOW.

Yesterday the Young Wan had her’s tidied up for the first time, well Nanny and I were having it done so she had to be allowed to join in the pain. And we laughed as she slid slowly away from the threading woman. I will get some pics the next time, I was too hot and bothered yesterday to take any. So having come over all Beaut.ie I’ll move along swiftly now.

From there we went to a pal of Nanny’s Turkish restaurant and had dinner, drinks and craic and the start of the reason for our lost day. We got back to the apartment at about 1.30am and proceeded to pour drinks and sit on the balcony when old family photographs where produced including many photographs I have taken of the Young Wan over the years; none of which I have.

People think I have lots and lots of pics of the Young Wan. I probably still have all the negatives but I have been a divil for giving away pics I have no copies of, and hopefully at some stage I will hunt them all out and do them up again.

So the evening ended with the Iman announcing prayer time at about 5.30am this morning and the Young Wan and I kicking Nanny to bed. I swear I am 20 years older than she is.

All that meant we didn’t surface until late O’Clock today. The Young Wan and I are on a mission to buy lamb chops which I am phoenitically remembering as the former editor of the Daily Mirror and the former athlete who ran in her bare feet, Piers Morgan and Zola Budd; Pierz Zola.
Here’s some pics from the day.

He told me he is Charles Bronson, I suppose he is if you squint!

And there’s more on Flickr.

Oh and by the way I hope you all appreciate me typing in all the ‘i’s. The ‘i’ on the Turkish keyboard is located a row down and several keys over so it is slower to type. You should have seen me trying to type my column!

WE WERE out and about today just pottering really and I bought a couple of dopey wee thıngs in one of the many shops.

They really believe ın hassling people here to come in and buy and they are actually called hasslers, though that could just be a nickname people have given them.

The American woman I wrote about earlıer was gıvıng out sayıng how aggressıve she found them. I wouldn’t agree wıth them being aggressıve but they are in your face at every turn, every street and every shop.

I have been tryıng the techniques that people adopt for chuggers but it hasn’t worked so far. Sayıng ‘I don’t speak Englısh’ [as some allegedly say to chuggers ın Dublın] wıll only make them talk to you ın an embarassıngly dıfferent amount of languages more than we can speak.

It feels rude to ignore them but thats how I have tended to deal wıth ıt. It helps that Nanny has some pigeon Turkish, well for that one particular shop anyway.

While this really does p*ss me off no end, you have to admire their resiliance and determinatıon, not to mention their language skills and astuteness really.

Take for example earlier we were walking by a shop and had passed it when one guy shouts: ‘Are you Irish? What’s the craic?’ before ending his sales pitch with ‘pog ma thon’. Hmmm someone should tell him that isn’t the way to get people into his shop!

The maddest thing though happened earlier. I went in and bought some trinkets for a kiddie I know.

As I looked in the bag I realised the woman behind the counter had thrown in crayons. So I took them out and she went to put them back in saying ‘only one lira, one lira’. Now one lira is only worth about 30c but eh I will choose my own purchases thank you. And that was just far too bloody sneaky to me.

I heard reports from someone else about going into a restaurant where there was a big group and the bill came to 200 lıra, roughly 120 euro. And when the bill came in, they had added 100 lira to it because of all the people at the table.

So back to the shop today when I took out the crayons I checked the bag to make sure she hadn’t given me anything else to pay for and I have only realised when I got home that the little sh*t has taken one of the things I wanted to buy out of the bag and still charged me the full price!

Jaysus that woman should be a magician with her sleight of hand manoevre. I suppose it is a case of buyer beware but they are now dealing with Nanny, who will go back and give out and demand the other item.

Anyway I’m off, some beer beckons. And while I may not post here often, I am trying to upload pics as I go along on Flickr.